A
young engaged couple from Lagos asked, “In these months we are preparing for our
wedding. Can you give us some advice on how to celebrate our marriage well?”
I
answered:
Make
it a real celebration — because marriage is a celebration — a Christian
celebration, not a worldly feast! The Gospel of John points to the most
profound reason for joy on that day: do you remember the miracle at the wedding
in Cana? At a certain point there was no more wine and the celebration seemed
to be ruined. Imagine drinking tea at the end of a celebration! No, it’s not
good! There is no party without wine! In that moment Jesus reveals himself for
the first time and gives a sign: he
transforms
water into wine, thus saving the wedding feast. What happened in Cana 2,000
years ago, happens today at every wedding celebration: that which makes your
wedding full and profoundly true will be the presence of the Lord who reveals
himself and gives his grace.
It is his presence that offers the
“good wine”, he is the secret to full joy, that which truly warms the heart. It
is the presence of Jesus at the celebration. May it be a beautiful celebration,
but with Jesus! Not with a worldly spirit, no! You can feel it when the Lord is
there.
At the same time, however, it is good
that your wedding be simple and make what is truly important stand out. Some
are more concerned with the exterior details, with the banquet, the photographs,
the clothes, the flowers... These are important for a celebration, but only if
they point to the real reason for your
joy: the Lord’s blessing on your love.
Make it so that, like the wine in Cana, the exterior signs of your celebration
reveal the Lord’s presence and remind you and everyone present of the origin
and the reason for your joy.
But there is something that you said
that I would like to address immediately because I do not want to let it slip
away. Marriage is also an everyday task, I could say a craftsman’s task, a
goldsmith’s work, because the husband has the duty of making the wife more of a
woman and the wife has the duty of making the husband more of a man. Growing
also in humanity, as man and woman. And this you do together. This is called growing together. This
does not come out of thin air! The Lord blesses it but it comes from your
hands, from your attitudes, from your way of loving each other.
To make us grow! Always act so that
the other may grow. Work at this. And thus, I don’t know, I am thinking of you
that one day you will walk along the streets of your town and the people will
say: “Look at that beautiful woman, so strong!...”. “With the husband that she
has, it’s understandable!”. And to you too: “Look at him and how he is!...”.
“With the wife he has, I can understand why!”. It’s this, reaching this point:
making one another grow together, one another. And the children will have the
inheritance of having a father and a mother who grew together, making each
other — one another — more of a man and more of a woman!
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